One up!

She was too wild and got punished and had to sit in the corner. She literally dug my eyeballs out, slapped me with slippers, swanton bombed me, knocked coke all over me and farted on me.

*Disclaimer*

*What you are about to read next may shock you*

*Readers' discretion is advised*

*Juggy productions presents*

*Cholo Demora who forgot 3 email passwords and 1 blog password*

I called the only existing, self-prclaimed 'Chi-nation' (I think it's code for a very confused china boy). I pretended to be 'Samantha', Joanne's friend from CHIJ. Here's how it goes.

Sam: Hi, can I speak to Shannon.

Bapok: Errr, this is Shannon.

Sam: Hi, Shannon, I'm Samantha.

Bapok: Samantha? From where?

Sam: I'm Joanne's friend, I saw you're friendster and I think you're quite cute.

Bapok: Err, okay. Who is this? Joanne's friend ah?

Sam: Ya, I'm from her school, why, are you busy?

Bapok: No, I'm okay. You got friendster?

Sam: Yeah, you want my email address?

Bapok: No, I want your friendster. (He sounded like he was masturbating on the phone)

Sam: But you need my email to see my friendster.

Bapok: No, I want your friendster. (Now his breathin' got so deep, I think he shot an albino slug)

Sam: Ya, so you need my email to see my friendster.

Bapok: Errr, who is this? (He doesn't like it when you're born smarter)

Sam: I'm Samantha, are you online?

Bapok: No, but I can go online now. (He responded in 0.2 seconds)

Sam: So what you doing? Can we talk?

Bapok: Err, okay, but I need to call Joanne.

Sam/Lee: Stupid idiot, it's me lee!

Bapok: Wa lao eh! (so saddened by the betrayal)

Lee: Why you never come?

Bapok: Wa lao eh!

Lee: Why you never come?

Bapok: I dunno la.

Lee: What you mean you dunno?

Bapok: I dunno la, my mother sick.

Lee: So you know what.

Bapok: I dunno la.

Lee: What you doin'?

Bapok: I dunno la.

Lee: What are you doin' you idiot?

Bapok: I dunno la, cuttin' something. (and for Sam, he go online in 0.2 sec, but for me, busy!)

Lee: With who?

Bapok: Dunno la, my mother, helpin' her cut something.

Lee: Cut what?

Bapok: I dunno something green, I think it's a vegetable. (He thinks it's a vegetable.)

Lee: So that means you cuttin' vegetables la.

Bapok: I dunno la.

Lee: What you cutting?

Lee:Chap Cai ah?

Bapok: He he he he

Lee: Celery ah?

Bapok: He he he he

Lee: Lettuce ah?

Bapok: He he he he

As good example as how the male brain responds faster when talkin' to a girl then to a guy, and it's obvious how guys are willing to drop everything and do anything for the girl, even though 'Sam' had had a very deep voice and a penis in his/her pants, and was drinkin' sugar cane at the lift landing.

Mugennitis [ mun-gen-nie-tis] n The diease caused by being chinah or mixing with people of chinah-chinese decent.

Note: the difference between being chinese and chinah. Chinese is a race, just like being Indian or Mexican. A noun that describes the group of people who are fairly yellow in colour. Chinah on the other hand, is the act of being poorly brought up with no pro-societal skills. Acts such as rushing into lifts, formin' the yellow line at train stations, ridin' bicycles on the FOOTpath and practically punctuating your sentences with Lah, Loh, leh, le, ah, wor, dotz etc.

Showing symptoms mentioned above should usually indicate the infection of mugennitis. Curable only by a tight slap to the face.

Please visit http://www.x-mugennitis.com/ or call our hotline 1800-kill mungen, 1800-5455-686436 for more enquiries or try our 10 step programme to X mungennitis. If we work together, it migt not work, but there's no harm tryin'. Every less mungen in this world, means one more seat at the coffeeshop, one less bicycle ringin' behind you, no more wet clothes hangin' above yours and most of all, one less cubicle with piss all over the toilet seat.

My friendly mother just switched off the router, and I'm glad blogger has this wonderful gadget of saving everytime I stop typing. Kudos blogger.com and I finally found my songs by Cherry filter and Youjeen.

What's the score? VKM 101 - International Justice league of super burner 0

Awwwwww... You may have lost the battle, but you'll lose the war too.

P.S. Amelia is sad that Jacob is goin' out ith Geraldine.

I got a question

Will you still love me tomorrow?

What no french kiss?

Met Shi Shi at Novena to pass him his bag I borrowed, and I learnt so much about Borin' SBM club. Seriously, in the past, I seriously thought it was something glorious, but I guess it got tainted and value dropped faser than a horny girl's thong.

Almost got my ass bit off at work by headman 'coz some companies do not know the difference between 4 and 4:20.

F U r N i t u r e.... See, there is FUN in Furniture.

P.S. What happens if I run my fingers down your jeans pockets? Do you get tickly or turned on? Depends, only a special someone gets both.

Yes I put my hands in my girlfriend's pockets.

I have a very evil plan to carry out but I'm afraid I'll give people a heart attack from the sick mind that plans it all. It shall all go according to plan, time, it must take time.

The Arctic Monkeys said, 'I bet you look good on the dance floor'. Wheatus called me a 'Teenage Dirtbag.' and Gwen told me to 'Wind it up.'. Diddy shouted, 'Tell Me.' I tried to hit on Paula DeAnda and she told me to 'Walk Away.'. DMX asked, 'Where the hood at.'. Met Matchbox Twenty at the 'Rest Stop.' and we all saw the 'Last Beautiful Girl.'. Fergie told me to 'Get Your Hands Up.' and Rihana shoved her 'Umbrella.' up my ass. At that moment Blink 182 went on their 'First Date.' but they were sad when Lily Allen brought 'Alfie.' along. The Gym Class heroes put me in a 'Cupid's Chokehold.' before Saliva told them to 'Walk Alone.'. In the end, Eamon just said 'Fuck it.'.

In reply to a question not posted to me

Cute not? I say not


I mean seriously, if someone peels your prawns, cleans and dresses your wounds, feeds you food, buys for you chocolate and writes love letters for you, and still doesn't get angry when you shout at him for takin' care of you, you're a winner.

Buay Hiao Bai la, Buay Hiao Bai la..............

And so the story begins

I travel the world in a space hulk and I employ Daemonhunter knights to fight Chaos spacemarines and I believe the Horus Heresey was the best thing that happened as Angron was tainted with Chaos and the Emperor of the Empire was mortally wounded and most of the loyalist chapers were lost in messy bloodbaths which could be prevented.

The header

Jasmine Tai, says: Sssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhh

Kamikaze headbutt

International justice league of super burners, nice name for a blog.

Sometimes I wonder why people do blogs. I started my blog so I could write how I felt about a girl and so I didn't have to tell it to her face to face. That was like 2 years ago. Then after he I guess I just carried on from there and made it for everyone else. Do people do blogs because others do it? Do they think it's a requirement to be cool? Lots of cool people don't have blogs. Matthew is cool, he doesn't have a blog. Jude is cool, he doesn't have a blog. See, havin' a blog doesn't mean you're cool, and not havin' a blog doesn't mean you're not cool either. It's two seperate entities.

Then you gotta ask yourself, why do you have a blog, is it to type down your inner most thoughts and make it avaliable for the world to see? Or its to post pictures you take so you can look back in the future? Or is it just to diss people? Yes I know I diss people a lot but I also do the other two.

if it's none of the above, why do you have a blog? (P.S. if you're too dumb to get my point, read 2 paragraphs above.)

What's with this sentimental post anyway? I'm fuckin' hooked on Warhammer 40K even though I don't have a single figure. This is gonna change though.

Chris Benoit, Mrs. Benoit, Little Benoit, may their souls rest in peace.

Where the hood at?

I don't mean to be rude here but I have some doubts in my mind. First point, I admit I am mean to him, so are you doin' this to get back at me for me bein' mean to him or are you just plain talkative?

You've been through my shoes before, you know the roundabouts. Just wonderin' why do you need to tell. See, if someone doesn't know, means he/she doesn't need to know. So by telling him/her, what do you gain? A sense of higher authority that you have infomation that he/she doesn't? Once again, I stress, I'm not being rude, just a little confused.

I'm still figurin' out why you do what you do. Isn' there any unspoken code anymore?

The Untitled

I finally got my 12'' King Leonidas. What's fuckin' cool about it is that it can fuckin' talk! Yesterday was fun, much fun actually.

Wonder why people always have to complain about things instead of handling it themselves when it's their own problem. Does tellin' someone else of supposedly higher authority make it less of your problem? Does it make the problem go away? Does screamin' at the top of your voice get you the intended reaction you supposed, and when it gets out of hand, just like everytime? What happend after that?

It doesn't matter if it went in one ear and out the other, it matters. It matters a lot. All is fair in love and war. One's been around for so long and one's just only arrived and he's got so much more to learn. What you're lookin' for could be what is already in the first. Lots have been learnt from the exs and barriers have been brought up. Breakin' them down will be hard and startin' from scratch is always a bitch. Re-keyin' all the same data but just into a different drive. It's nice to relive the old but it also hurts a lot. Thinkin' about the past is what is done most of the time. About how the past could have and may have. I'm afraid that it might all happen all over again and I'll just be at square one all over again.

Let's eat our friends!

Diner with the in-laws, and scarey Thai movies with the hottest chick dyin' first.

It's wander by the way

Your pics so cool la!!!!

My lollipop love

American History X

Harry's and more

Okay, fine, you got a big ass ring, stop flaunting it!

Will you please stop?

It seems like I can't stop you.

I look like I'm kissin' Cheryl here

Kawaii-ne!!!!!

'I lick pussies too!'

I'm tired so please shut the fuck up.

Went to some Cosplay maid cafe and I have to say, Paul and I enjoyed it there very much and Drace almost got me my personal cheena-fied cosplay maid.

It wierd how people get to meet your cousin first and then you gotta give a really good first impression because your cousin is a real lian with a Zat like lianzZzZz......

Finally caught American History X. Very nice show.

Stupid as a stupid is 2

Quotin' Mr. Azfar,

'definitely not pics of u. i cant be bothered bout u.'

What pics of me are you talkin' about? If you really can't be bothered, why tag you dumbfuck? Did mommy drop you on the head too many times when you were little?

What puzzles me more is that now I hear you're askin someone from the past, which you claimed to be psycho, how she'd see her future with you or some mushy shit like that.

Aww, if you're a fan of my blog just say it, I know you've been readin' ever since your name first appeared.

'i dun bother reading ur blog.'

If you don't bother then why are you still here? You really are stupid, and it seems you just have to have the last say, dude, this is my blog! It's not neva_2_fart.blogspot.com, or Mr_Romeo.blogspot.com, or Stupidest-two-timer-in-the-world.blogspot.com, it's tlatomoko.blogspot.com!

Please think before you type, Stupid people like you should be banned from doin' tasks like typin' 'coz you end up embarrasin' yourself.

It's like the stupid flu is goin' around!

I think I'm goin' blind

'that is one nice mohawk'

I'm really sorry I have to do this, but where's the freakin' mohawk? Please point it out for me? Is this some kind of a Where's Wally thing? Or some illiusion where I go to look at it at an angle? I tried lookin' at in underwater or upside down, but still no.

$10 bucks for the missin' mohawk. Any takers? The search is on baby!

For you I will

At the end of the day, or the beginnin' of another, however you see it, Kenneth still never fails to make me smile. I think I'm goin' crazy over him. Fuck la boy, emo for what? Bang your baby toe on the bedpost?

I love you, more than any chinese boy I know. And I'll gladly give you my sandals for you to lose it again if I could, 'coz you're my bro and you were there for me. That's all I need, and maybe a stick of chewin' gum from M'sia ya! Get me a tee shirt too. Soon, baby, soon.

I hope draceana doesn't get jealous over us dude, and beat me up outside Cine or chase you away from City Hall, or call my mum when we watch Mr and Mrs Smith at Cine.

Fuck la, I love you dude. I feel like dumpin' my curry chicken in my bandung tomorrow in honour of you. Doin' an air guitar show for Jerald, givin' girls fake flyers for Ricky, pokin' me eye for Guan Zhe, Pukin' in the toilet for Dinesh, givin' myself a handjob for David, playin' Mahjong for Ice, paintin' my nails for Leah, permin' my hair for Fahreeq, jumpin' down 2 stories for Gary, pinchin' my balls for Peter North, Shavin' a thunder stripe on my head for Raman, breakin' my leg for Shi Shi and laughin' like a girl for Veenotth, flappin' my wings infront of a lorry for butt-o-shock, beatin' the koi for alvin, shavin' a superman on my chest for Ash, and laughin' like a girl again for Ali. Can't recall anyone else right now. I guess that's it for now.

You and I both

You and I both know that's true, relax, you never bugged me. Just stop makin' the same mistakes over and over again. Don't spill milk, cry, then spill milk again and again and again and again.

There's one last decent thing you can do, I hope you make the right choice.


I got cheated of Popiah and Laksa, Dupped into goin' out for supper. Got booby-trapped into carryin' bags! Naughty Naughty! I love you Drace.

Stupid as a stupid is

I thought he ran away the other time and was never comin' back, but it seems he just has to grab hold of the lime light! So right now, when I'm givin' him a little attention, he has to come and tag, out of the blue for whatever reasons to establish some ground? I find it very wierd, because when people are in the wrong, they usually just sit down and shut up. It's alright, some people are slow learners. Yea I finally got rid of the ex, it's not easy but at least I have someone by my side to help me through. If I remember correctly, Cheryl was psycho on you all along, those were the words that came out of your lyin' mouth. So I'm so sorry if you got a problem with memory. Well, if you really pay attention when you're with Sam, you'll know what hot steamy stuff or Romeo and Juliet nonsense you guys are doin'. I am so so sorry I disturbed your peace and life, I didn't intend to disrupt it Azfar. From the bottom of my heart, I apologise.

NOT!

You really define stupidity, if my blog disturbs your peace and life, did you ever think of not reading it? If your food isn't nice, do you continue eatin' it day after day and keep on complainin'? No right, it's like you're glued to my blog while Sam's glued to Cheryl's. I find it very wierd, you guys got each other. Finally! So go on and live your 'Romeo and Juliet-less' life and not engage in steamy activities.

Maybe I should apologise, I'm sorry you're so stupid. You make me not want to have kids.

Sam, talkin' about fake? 'I promise, I'll never talk to him again.' 'I promise, no more Azfar.' I promise this and I promise that. I take my hat off to this line that you said, "I promise I won't lie to you anymore." This is the lie of the century. Fake, suddenly I see my name off your little list. Don't you remember all the times I was there for you when you were down and Azfar-sick? Remember all the times I went out of the way to make you feel better? Aww, my heart bleeds, it's better that you don't have my name there because then people will call me stupid for believin' you all this while. I call myself stupid for believin' you. Bitin' the hand that feeds, whatever that means, sounds very appropriate for this season. So I guess you're the right person to talk about being fake since you do it so fuckin' well. 'I can't go to town alone or my mum will see but for Azfar, anything can!'.

When you put a mat and a stupid girl together, you get a stupid couple. Stop readin' our blogs if you can't handle it. Don't you guys have to go skip class together or something? Since you're so good at disappearin' from class, why don't you two just disappear from cyberspace too?

P.S. it's spelled never, not neva.

*Poof*

When seven become three

The movie marathon night

'mazes me

Funny how people will only accept the good and not the bad. How you'll see comments of how cute you are and not of how you're not eurasian.

You so cute la, cuter than a turtle. So cute la, I cannot tahan. Then you got tackled is it? Aww little boii boii, you okay? Never mind, holidays coming! Kawaii-ne!

Reminds me of a certain boy who drives down an endless road and now I hear that The Romeo and Juliet of NYP, 'lil miss Sam and Azfar are gettin' steamy in school. Sit on stairs so close somemore, so lovey dovey! Then we got Charlie's Angel comin' to school in matchin' attire and walkin' down the corridors like Mean Girls. Why does shit happen when I'm gone. Why do we have idiots with butter knives tryin' to stab people? Why do people try to molest girls and touch boobs? Why is Food Junction fuckin missin'? What has the home of mungens (NYP for those idiots who don't know) become?

To tell you the truth, I really miss the guys. Kenneth especially, Jerald, Dinesh, David, Ice, Leah(she's one of the guys yo!), Veenotth, Shi Shi, Adrian Pang, Zemo, Alvin, butt-o-shock, Ash, Ali, Gary, Peter North last but not least, F to the A to the H to the Reeq! And to all those not mentioned, I miss you guys too.

What I miss the most, is the smile on Kenneth's face that he used to have, but now it's gone since that bitch did some mean nazi experiment on him. She took away that one thing. That one thing that actually made me wanna come to school and slack at the once glorious SBM clubroom. The Sbm club, don't get me started. Like what a famous Russian Rockstar used to say, it's gay dude.

Sometimes people just talk for too long and you have no choice but to agree with them of you won't be able to live.

"I give you two choices, either you fuck off from here, or I put you in the army, either way I don't fuckin' want you here."

And why is every-fuckin'-body talkin' about the past bein' the past? Am I the only fucker livin' in the past that I'm unaware about? Either I'm grey matter and you're black and white, or the other way round. What ever the fuckin' case, it's just goin' to go on and on and on.

We can't have everything we want, unless you're Paris Hilton, then you get to go to jail. Ricky Lah's online and I got a polar bear for a coaster.

Norah Jone's singin' that it's not too late and Travis's Closer isn't as close as I thought it would be. In the end, I still bet you look good on the dance floor.

Little Wonders

let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don't you know
the hardest part is over
let it in,
let your clarity define you in the end
we will only just remember how it feels

our lives are made in these small hours
these little wonders, these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours, these small hours
still remain

let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine
until you feel it all around you and i don't mind
if it's me you need to turn to we'll get by,
it's the heart that really matters in the end

our lives are made in these small hours
these little wonders, these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours, these small hours still remain

all of my regret
will wash away some how
but i can not forget the way i feel right now
in these small hours
these little wonders these twists & turns of fate
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away
but these small hours these small hours,
still remain,
still remain
these little wonders these twists & turns of fate
time falls away
but these small hours
these little wonders still remain

A new beginning

A honeymoon, wedding dinner and then the ceremony. Forgotten wedding vows and unforseen visitors. A cold night, but very warm indeed. The first night I slept in the arms of love and peace. Stories told and kisses exchanged. Meeting the folks and rubbin' feet. Drinks with jelly and dinner that ran out of sweet and sour pork.

My little drama queen, Draceana.

It never ends

Since my offer for friendship was turned down, I'll just say goodbye. Like everyone is sayin', the past is the past. You'll be a big part of my past. Goodbye.

Dear Mandy

I admit I did some things in the past I'm not proud of, and I admit that I did hurt you. I remember that last night we talked as friends, you said you weren't doin' things that you wouldn't normally do when you were attached. I heard a different story. So I guessed if you could 'lie' then there's no point waitin' for you. It always amazes me how whenever we end, it's usually me doin' the callin' and reconciliation. I'd say I love you and do it, for your case, you'll just say you love me and end there. I just find it hard for someone to say something and not do anything and expect to mean it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not dissin' you here, just got some questions in my mind that you never answered. Just find it very coincidental that you'd have a 'great night with guys' all of a sudden after me. Funny 'coz it happens right after I put Drace's photo up. I'm thinkin' that you weren't bothered. Then I get stories that you cried you eyes out. Find it very wierd again, that you can not do anything, then cry like fuck. Then be happy with other guys. Basically you're tellin' me that you're love for me is just like a swtich and you can choose when to love and and when not to. If I'm not there, off, if I am, all the more merrier?

Tell you the truth, Drace treats me like noone has. I am happy with her. I don't want to fight with you anymore. It always seemed like we couldn't work out as a couple, and it seems now that we can't work out as friends. Like I told you before, you did mean a lot to me and I still care for you. One more thing I can't understand, why do you always almost get killed when I'm not around?

All things aside, I still want you to grow up. Be careful and please don't go lookin' for trouble. My offer for friendship is always on the table and I'll respect your desicion.

P.S. a player is someone who goes with more than one girl at a time, I never did. Go read the dictionary instead of eatin' like a pig!

From, Lee

The closin' chapter

Whatever I did to you, you did to me ten times worse. The one thing I never did was lie. It's wierd how you only type those after readin' my blog. You were just waitin' for me to 'screw it up' before you have an excuse to move on. So when we talk the next time, it's me who moved on first and I'll be the villian once more. Go ahead and be the sad victim who got her heart broken. I'll pray that you grow up.

Funny how friends will tell you things and be on your side but stab you in the back after sayin' they'll miss you when you're gone. Really amazes me, maybe you got into the bimbo syndrome. I understand.

Unpredictable but predictable at the same time. Nice but head bangin' at the same time too. Saddenin' but blissful. In the end, I'll hope it doesn't hurt too badly.

If you really did love me, then you should have said something. Instead you lost me and it's my fault again.

I'm not goin' back to you. I don't intend to, I don't intend to go back to you or to hurt anymore people. I'm just afraid, I'll get burnt in the end. I don't think of you anymore, it's just now 'coz you're supposedly still askin' your friends to butt in and cause trouble. You just cause me a headache, not a heartache. Whatever your preference, you've succeded.

Whatever it is, I wish you all the best and hope you'll be happy with who ever you are with. I'm wass happy with Dracey, till now. The past will always come back to haunt. The past and love and both bitches. Bitches that tear wounds open, and seduces you into temptation.

I said I was gonna sleep but I just can't.

Fuck la, emo this emo that. I'll let this be a one off thing and go back to my over worked and underpaid days of labour, late night drinkin' and practically no life.

And down comes the rain, right on cue.