Something funny that shouldn't make you cry

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect,they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorcefor him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions :
Lawyer : Have you any grounds?
Polish man : Yes,an acre and half and nice little home.
L. : No. I mean, what is the foundation of this case?
Pm.: It made of concrete.
L. : I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a realgrudge?
Pm.: No, we have carport, and not need one.
L. : I mean, what are your relations like?
Pm.: All my relations still in Poland.
L. : Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
Pm.: We have hi-fidelity and good DVD player.
L. : Does your wife beat you up?
Pm.: No,I always up before her.
L. : Is your wife a nagger?
Pm.: No, she white.
L. : Why do you want this divorce?
Pm.: She going to kill me!
L. :What makes you think that?
Pm.: I got proof.
L. : What kind of proof?
Pm.: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put onshelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: " Polish Remover ".

Happy times

I'm just a sexy boy.....sexy boooyyyy.... I'm not your boy toy.....boy toooyyyy......

Happy birthday singh!

To the dillusional

How do you sleep at night knowing what you did in the past? If that really helps you to sleep then I have to say that disgusts me. If you gotta cry yourself to sleep, then I guess you're paying for your sins, but just not enough. 'Coz you'll be crying till the day you die.

The way you left

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.