Something funny that shouldn't make you cry

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect,they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorcefor him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions :
Lawyer : Have you any grounds?
Polish man : Yes,an acre and half and nice little home.
L. : No. I mean, what is the foundation of this case?
Pm.: It made of concrete.
L. : I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a realgrudge?
Pm.: No, we have carport, and not need one.
L. : I mean, what are your relations like?
Pm.: All my relations still in Poland.
L. : Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
Pm.: We have hi-fidelity and good DVD player.
L. : Does your wife beat you up?
Pm.: No,I always up before her.
L. : Is your wife a nagger?
Pm.: No, she white.
L. : Why do you want this divorce?
Pm.: She going to kill me!
L. :What makes you think that?
Pm.: I got proof.
L. : What kind of proof?
Pm.: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put onshelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: " Polish Remover ".