CLone Wars Day-17

"I'd reather stay back, do nothing, let the feelings fade and give up rather than do anything."

Those words are still stuck in my head like the constant ringing from last night's Jam&Hop. Damn it was boring! Techno before, techno now, techno later, techno techno techno. It was like I was in some Beng disco. The day started out like how I would have expected it. Woke up from the constant flow of messages from people. Had grilled fish and fries for breakfast. That was at 12. The dress code for J&H was either blue of red. So i took my blue reject shop shirt out and realised that I just wore it. I was then in search for a blue top. Ended up takin' one of my old man's shirt. I walked in and out the house like 4 times. First I forgot to iron my shirt, then it was my phone, then my landyard and my glasses. Met Fatin and the rest there. Had some trouble reachin' the sports hall. Reached there in time to cheer for Nadia and Vivien. Sharon had taken like almost 50 pieces of votin' paper, half for Nadia and half for Vivien. Had a late lunch like around 4:30. I had beef steak, I'm a sucker for beef. HaHaHa.

I saw Her. She was how she always was, happy, smiling, havin' fun, and oblivious to my exsistence. How could I just stand there and feel both love and hatred at the same time? She had plans, plans, plans. I guess I know where I stand in her life, at the far bottom of the list. I'm not sure if I'm even on the list. Lamenting has become such a big part of my life.

How do I,
Get through the night without you?
If I had to live without you,
What kind of life would that be?
Oh, I
I need you in my arms, need you to hold,
You're my world, my heart, my soul,
If you ever leave,
baby you would take away everything good in my life,
and tell me now
How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?
Without you,
There'd be no sun in my sky,
There would be no love in my life,
There'd be no world left for me.
And I,
Baby I don't know what I would do,
I'd be lost if I lost you,
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything real in my life,
And tell me now,
How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?
Please tell me baby,
How do I go on?
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything,
I need you with me,
Baby don't you know that you're everything,
Real in my life?
And tell me now,
How do I live without you,
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?
How do I live without you?
How do I live without you baby?

Friendship's crap, caring's crap, late nights are crap, dancin's crap, singin's crap, walkin's crap, takin a bus is crap, showerin's crap, swimmin's crap, smilin's crap, laughin's crap, thinkin's crap, but most of all, love is crap.

Wow, Benji sure can shop! He asked me to stash some stuff at my house so his mum wouldn't kill him for spendin' all his dough. Had a real, long chat with Aisyah. We talked bout J&H, Cursed, smokin', supper, love, friends and list goes on.

I was a rest stop in your life, just a quick stop. You filled up and left.