Clone Wars Day-14

"I rather stay back, do nothing, let the feelings fade and give up rather than do anything."

That's what she said. Those were the words that smashed my already broken heart. All I could feel were the tears. Those cold heartless tears. Those tears that I hate, tears of a lost love. At that point I knew my baby had died, died long ago. She left and never took me along. But the wierdest thing happened. A relic of the past that I thought had been buried too, came out. It was the clip, that bright yellow hair clip that sits on her head, just like a crown. The queen of my heart with her yellow crown that I gave her. Wait a minute. Isn't my baby dead? No, she didn't die. She's still alive, somewhere. I bought for her that clip to wear whenever she wanted me to talk to her. I'm confused, you still want me to talk to you after saying that you can't be bothered to do anything?
You lost the love. You'd rather not do anything. If you call that love. Love should be a crime.

Words like love and happiness
Never see to stand up baby
When you put them to the test
You say that you're a poet
That your love's a work of art
But you can't play love by numbers baby
You gotta play it all by heart
Baby, baby, baby, baby
It happens all the time
How you play me, play me, play me
Playing with my mind
Baby, baby, baby, baby
You're making me go crazy
And if you call that love
Then love should be a crime
Honesty
Bites the dust
Every time
I hear you saying
Love is never lust yeah
Did you read it in a book
Did you see it in a magazine
Do you think that I'm some new age fool
Do you think I'm so naive
Love should be a crime
You and me
Suddenly
We got nothing to say
But the words get in the way
Baby, baby, baby, baby
It happens all the time
How you play me, play me, play me
Playing with my mind
Baby, baby, baby, baby
You’re making me go crazy
And if you call that love
Then all it was
Was a pocketful of nothing
But a suicidal love
If you call that love
Then love should be a crime

Like I said, this girl who broke my heart is also the one who mends it. She walked up to me like nothing happened last night and talked causally. I was so shocked I didn't know if I was dreaming or if she was just crazy.

I'm losing my mind. I wanted to buy it for her but then I felt that well, since she didn't want me, what's the use? But now, I think that it might really turn the tide over to my favour. I only have a day left, then it's the holidays, and she's gonna lose whatever scraps of love she has for me. Then I'm screwed. I'm really screwed. Like a steel rod, hard to magnetize, and easy to loose it's magnetism. I'm screwed, I'm beat, I'm broke and I'm fresh out of ideas.

I think I made my peace with Ema, I talked everything out with her. Now I've got another load off my mind.

Fatin and Shila are up to no good, with their slang-at plans for me and Aisyah. Hmm? Siao ohredy!

Oh where oh where can my baby be?

The lord took her away from me.

She's gone to heaven so i got to be good.

So I can see my baby when I leave this world.