War Journal Day- 15
They meet up at Toa Payoh like how I used to fetch her. They go to the Esplanade. They play pool. The sun goes down. They're eatin' at Pastamania at Cine. They're doin' it in the toilet. He buys for her flowers. They watch a movie and fool around at the back. He holds her hand. She kisses him. Benji sees them at Taka and calls me. Someone pulls me to the toilet to listen to the people inside. I see them from afar but can't catch up. She meets him in class. She has dinner with an old friend. They walk on the beach. She smiles at me before walkin' off with him. She jumps on him in the staircase. She gets pregnant. She cries to me. I walk into class and catch them together. I see them in the canteen doin' stuff we used to do. They go on a long walk along Orchard road.
Now isn't that a blur of thoughts? That's what's racin' through my mind right now. I haven't eaten the whole day and I haven't got out of bed for more than 5 mins at ends.
Why does it hurt every time? Why must I always be the one with the heartbreak? Why must it be me who sheds tears? Why is is always me? Why do I suffer? Have I done something so wrong that I deserve my worst fears to come alive? Have I wronged someone so badly that I must suffer this over and over and over?
This time it hurts really really bad. I though bloggin' might help, but hell! It's gettin' worse. It seems that the more I type, the more real it sounds, the more likely it's takin' place.
There is no word for the way I feel right now. Sad? I'm sad when they cancel my favourite cartoon. Angry? Angry's when I can't get Stats. in my head. Disturbed? Disturb's when I cant sleep at night. Agony? Agony can't be compared to what I feel.
I so wanna sleep and not wake up, to get away from it all. But the more I sleep, the more the thoughts come to haunt me. Take me away from all this pain and sorrow. Take me away to some place where memories and thoughts and feelings don't exist.
Take me away, please.
They meet up at Toa Payoh like how I used to fetch her. They go to the Esplanade. They play pool. The sun goes down. They're eatin' at Pastamania at Cine. They're doin' it in the toilet. He buys for her flowers. They watch a movie and fool around at the back. He holds her hand. She kisses him. Benji sees them at Taka and calls me. Someone pulls me to the toilet to listen to the people inside. I see them from afar but can't catch up. She meets him in class. She has dinner with an old friend. They walk on the beach. She smiles at me before walkin' off with him. She jumps on him in the staircase. She gets pregnant. She cries to me. I walk into class and catch them together. I see them in the canteen doin' stuff we used to do. They go on a long walk along Orchard road.
Now isn't that a blur of thoughts? That's what's racin' through my mind right now. I haven't eaten the whole day and I haven't got out of bed for more than 5 mins at ends.
Why does it hurt every time? Why must I always be the one with the heartbreak? Why must it be me who sheds tears? Why is is always me? Why do I suffer? Have I done something so wrong that I deserve my worst fears to come alive? Have I wronged someone so badly that I must suffer this over and over and over?
This time it hurts really really bad. I though bloggin' might help, but hell! It's gettin' worse. It seems that the more I type, the more real it sounds, the more likely it's takin' place.
There is no word for the way I feel right now. Sad? I'm sad when they cancel my favourite cartoon. Angry? Angry's when I can't get Stats. in my head. Disturbed? Disturb's when I cant sleep at night. Agony? Agony can't be compared to what I feel.
I so wanna sleep and not wake up, to get away from it all. But the more I sleep, the more the thoughts come to haunt me. Take me away from all this pain and sorrow. Take me away to some place where memories and thoughts and feelings don't exist.
Take me away, please.
You were caught watching porn at 12:11 PM
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